My favorite movie has long been Pride & Prejudice, the 2005 version starring Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen. Artistically crafted and perfectly acted, everything about this movie captivates me. If you’re a fan, I don’t need to explain further. If you’re not…well, I won’t bore you anymore.
But I do have a point to make. I have often reflected upon what married life would have been like for Elizabeth Bennett and Fitzwilliam Darcy – he with his prejudice against the lower classes, and she with her spine-stiffening pride. (Or perhaps she was prejudiced against the upper classes, and he was very nearly too proud to deign to love her?) They would have continued to clash, just as they did in their courtship. Two such different people would have fought long, and loudly, and their children and servants would have heard much of it. And then, they would have remembered what drew them together, and all would be forgiven.
Sometimes, it’s a bit like that at my house (minus the servants). My husband could be described as somewhat Darcy-esque in that he can be the strong, silent type, but he is not proud, or prejudiced. Most often, it’s my pride that lands us in the middle of our arguments. Like Lizzie Bennett, I am headstrong and intent upon thrusting my opinions forth as if they were more important than my husband’s need for me to trust him, or understand him, or provide him with a haven of peace at home.
And although it can be romantic to think of opposites attracting, clashing, and coming together again, it is hard on a marriage.
Well, God knew all that, of course.
That’s why he told husbands to cherish their wives, and wives to respect their husbands. He told us all to recognize pride for the sin that it is, and replace it with love. To loosely paraphrase I Corinthians 13, the “love chapter,” Christ-like love reveals itself in actions that never put oneself first, but always others.
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. – I Corinthians 13:4-7
Why not celebrate Valentine’s Day by living out true love? Sacrifice some time in your schedule for your beloved. Express love in a way that speaks their language.
If you’re in the middle of a disagreement, cast off the pride that keeps you apart. Being loving is so much more important than being right.