Hospitality Is Not My Cup of Tea

When my family and I watch those HGTV house-hunting shows, we play a little game.

We listen for the words view, flow, open-concept, and entertaining.

Why? Because every house hunter in America seems to be looking for those things. And while I can appreciate an open layout and a fine view, I can’t relate to purchasing a house primarily because it has space for entertaining. (Ballroom, anyone?)


As you may have picked up from the title, hospitality just ain’t my thing.

Not that I am radically anti-social. I truly enjoy having people over, and I love cooking and baking for them. But there have been a few times that the preparation has stressed me out. A little.

(My husband would say, a LOT.)

I clean house and do as much cooking prep as possible, so that the day of goes smoothly and I can hang out with my company.

But I don’t seem to have enough time to fit in all the normal stuff of everyday life, never mind extra cooking and cleaning, without feeling pressured.

Some believe hospitality to be a spiritual gift, implying that certain people naturally welcome one and all into their homes, and others have to purpose to do so.

Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality. – Romans 12:13


Ask me to teach a class full of wiggly grade-schoolers for an hour? Happy to do it! Teaching is my spiritual gift. But host a get-together? Ugh.

Case in point. One of my husband’s best friends from college, whom we hadn’t seen in at least fifteen years, dropped by for a few hours on Tuesday evening. All day, before he arrived, I cooked and cleaned and worried and snapped at my family.

In the end, I had nothing to worry about. My husband’s friend and his family were absolutely delightful, like-minded Christians. They were, well, just like my husband and me: the same as we had been in years past, only all grown up with children. We had home schooling and many other things in common, and we didn’t stop talking for their entire visit.

I don’t know why I get so worked up when I host a party, but I do know that my Lord asks me to cheerfully open my home to others. To me, that means that I should not only invite others willingly, but prepare happily.

Use hospitality one to another without grudging. – I Peter 4:9


And for my family’s sake, who bear the brunt of my pre-party stress, I’m going to purpose to do just that.

because home wasn't built in a day

Do you have the gift of hospitality? How do you prepare for a party and stay stress-free? As always, I welcome and appreciate your comments.




10 thoughts on “Hospitality Is Not My Cup of Tea”

  1. You remind me of my mom in the sense I’ve had to remind her from time to time to just take in the moment and not be Martha. But I do hear you too on wanting things to be together and prepping everything. As long as the house is clean (or at least the main rooms that will be occupied), and I have the extra stuff ready like food bought or prepared ahead if it needs to be. I’m okay. It’s usually like you shared when those to do lists are mixed in with extra chores I get stressed, especially when I’m behind.

    Yeah, I’m usually behind.

    I really enjoyed this post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. T.R., thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I hesitated to write this post revealing a less than appealing side of myself, but I’m so glad you (and your mom) can relate! And as you said, I am very much a Martha. Thank goodness for my husband’s very calm demeanor and for all the help my whole family gives me in times like those. It really helps to be able to delegate a lot of the smaller tasks, and my husband and kids are such a blessing to me in that way.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m really glad that you opened up! I think it’s easy for us to write about all the good things we do and talk about scripture with the hard stuff, but not open up that we are part of the struggling. God has shown me that the more we open up and are honest, others are reached. If that is a way for Him to be glorified and others to see Him 🙂 so be it.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Ahh…I can relate to this. Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts, cuz we homeschoolers are supposed to be just born hospitable, right?! Some folks are being sharpened, pruned & refined in other areas…I need it in the area of cheerful hospitality. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s